Motley Crue - Motley Crue

I bought this album on cassette and there was a sticker that said it was a “digalog” cassette, which was mastered from a digital source so that the sound quality would be comparable to that of a compact disc. It was the last gasp of the dying cassette industry. Whilst reminiscing on this fact, a few thoughts popped into my head:

1.) I feel really old whenever I think about how many albums I’ve owned on cassette.
2.) I find this tidbit more interesting than anything Motley Crue-related.
3.) I am really pretentious for using the word “whilst.”

If you’re not up on your Motley Crue lore, let me save you a trip to Google. Vince Neil had parted ways with the band and was replaced by John Corabi. Nikki Sixx claimed that the band was now going to be more kick ass because Corabi was a kick ass singer, plus he played guitar, so now the band was going to be even heavier and more metal and a lot of hyperbole.

They then released a self titled album that was met with complete indifference. So they kicked Corabi out and reunited with Vince Neil (whose solo career had been met with complete indifference) to release more albums that were met with complete indifference. Upon reuniting, Nikki Sixx said that Corabi was a kick ass singer, but he wasn’t a bubblegum singer, and that’s what the Crue really needed.

(Mental note: I read too many issues of Metal Edge growing up.)

(Mental note #2: Why is that a bad thing?)

The album starts off with a pretty sweet guitar riff before quickly devolving into a mess of generic 90s hard rock/metal, the kind KISS was churning out at the time. As I’m wont to do with these crappy albums, I’ve started to tune out. I’m surprised when I find that I’m on track 6 instead of track 1 being a 25 minute opus as I originally thought. Why do I torture myself for the sake of a blog being read by one person? (Love ya, Ken!)

It’s ironic that track 9 is called “Welcome To The Numb.” I went numb long ago, I think maybe 45 seconds into the first song. “Smoke The Sky” is possibly the worst marijuana song I’ve ever heard. And I’ve listened to Afroman’s album.

Four songs left and I’m wondering if the integrity of this blog is worth the pain. Confession time. I used to write music reviews for Generation Magazine and sometimes I wouldn’t finish listening to the CD. My view is that if the first 3/4 of an album sucks, the last 1/4 isn’t going to change my mind.

Okay, I tap. Motley Crue may have written the greatest song ever and put it at the end of this album. If that’s the case, fuck you, Motley Crue. But I’m sure I’m justified in not seeing this to the end. Plus, those last few songs are actually bonus tracks from the re-release, so technically, I did make it to the end.